When things don’t go the way you expect, the first reaction is to look for who to blame and that is a default human reaction to circumstances, but we need to grow above that and produce a reaction that solves the issue.
Have you faced terrible situations that didn’t go your way, maybe a terrible marital relationship, a terrible marriage itself, a terrible financial life, job, loss of someone and the list goes on, the way we are configured by nature is to look for just one person we pour the whole blame on and in a way it gives us a sense of relief, or we look for someone who is currently in that situation, it makes us feel am not alone.
This is one reason, many people go over and over the same problem without a solution, and to make it worse, people have formed bonds, relationships with other people based on these sentiments, we love people who will really see it the way we want, and thank God for social media, we follow people on social media who speak our language and dance to our tune but at the end of the day, the frustration continues, there is no solution to the problem.
If you can decide to produce a different reaction today, I know it is against your default nature, to confront the challenge with very sincere questions, it will go a long way than getting a congregation of mourners to surround you .
For instance, a lady is in a terrible marital relationship, the first reaction is to say the guy is a beast, and if you have had two or three relationships like that, the easiest thing to conclude is that “All men are beasts”, there is no responsible guy and all that, but there is a question I ask them , and it is always a difficult answer .
What attracted you to him ? If you can conveniently answer that, it puts you in a position to avoid that situation all over again because the problem is not him, the problem is you and your choice, there is something that attracts you to the wrong person that must be dealt with internally.
A great man of God once said, when you have challenges with people in terms of relationship, the first point to start is asking the all important question, Can I be the problem ? but you see, 97% of people never take that approach, we always believe people are responsible for everything except us, the problem of people been responsible for your problem is that, it has no solution, learn to take the unfamiliar position, that is the characteristics of successful people.
Be that person today!
I love you